Get In The Kitchen, Bitches!

[♥ COVID-19♥]

Get In The Kitchen, Bitches!

Tired of all the cookbooks written by wholesome and sweet chefs that make you want to smack them in the face with a frying pan? Well… you’re in luck! I’m not gonna coddle you, hold your hand or even tell you that you look hot in an apron. I’m not your momma, sweetheart. I’m your daddy!

Stop wasting money eating out and ordering in. Don’t have the time to cook? Don’t like cooking? Quit your damn whining and Get in the Kitchen!

It is my hope that this book will take you from the lowly, pathetic, piece of crap cook you are today to one that can prepare a meal simply by feeling your way through it. It is the aim of this book to train and discipline you, so that you not only act like a cook, but can actually be one.

...

Recipes are Rated According to Your Skill Level

All recipes are rated on a beginner-friendly scale so that even an idiot, I mean a novice like you can figure out which one to attempt. Here’s how it works:

· Dumb Ass– These are meant for the culinary challenged. Even you can make these meals…. Dumb Ass!

· The Little Chef That Could– I think you can, I think you can!

· Are You F%@king Kidding Me?- These might take a little extra time- and a brain. While these recipes are definitely a challenge, they can be mastered by all. Don't be a wimpy piece of trash. Try one!

Recipes include the following:

• South of My Border Pasta
  
• Bend Me over Beef
  
• Lick My Boots Lamb
  
• Miso Honee Stir-Fry
  
• Eat Me! Eggplant
  
• Poke Me! Pork
  
• Hurt Me! Hen
  
• Love You Long Time Pork Ribs
  
• Pull My Finger Pork
  
• Pistol Whip Pasta
  
• Drunken Indian Chicken
  
• The Saucy Russian
  
• The Special Saucy Russian
  
• Trailer Park Chicken Marsala
  
• Chicken With Fungus
  
• Vijay Rodriguez’s Tacos
  
• On Your Knees! Chicken
  
• Spicy Young Thang Meatloaf
  
• New Dehli Meatloaf
  
• Begg Me!
  

[innit Geezer]

The makers of Marlboro cigarettes published a cookbook called "Marlboro Cook Like A Man Cookbook." (this also flies in the face of good health just as there cigarettes)

A friend of mine who is a great bbq'er, does fantastic dishes from this book which was only obtainable by sending in the cartons sides of Marlboro cigarettes. Now I see the book at amazon.

Recipes include bacon wrapped hot-dog (pigs in a blanket variation) and other cardiac specialties, but in moderation and as an indulgence, the dishes are creative and were a big hit at a beer blast a few summers ago.

[Christinko]

I think you gentlemen might be interested in taking a look at this little cookbook for your gals at xmas....or maybe you could surprise her with a special treat.

www.lulu.com/content/4956212


Abstract:
Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to ch-ch-change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!

[♥ COVID-19♥]

Semen is inexpensive to produce ...

Not if you use the same escort service that I do.

... and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants.

Of course it's in restaurants. In the kitchen, they keep it right next to the cumin.

[nolaflacav]

I already do the cooking and grocery shopping in the house so this is just one more small thing for me to get my hands around. It should not be too problematic.

[innit Geezer]

...and I thought caviar was pushing the boundaries. I'll pass on the semen dishes, I'm getting queezy just thinking about it.

[♥ COVID-19♥]

Semen: the dish that's meant to be spit, not swallowed.

[innit Geezer]

Well, so much for my appetite for Christmas cookies with icing.

[♥ COVID-19♥]

Semen: the *other* white meat.

[innit Geezer]

The down time between glazing supplies must drive the condiment price to delicacy levels. Presuming there's one chef in the kitchen.

[♥ COVID-19♥]

Remember the old saying: "Too man chefs spoil the splooge".