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Post by Robin Hood on Sept 28, 2005 22:40:21 GMT -6
1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until after that year instead of before it.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a Car 95 or a Car NT. But then you'd have to buy more seats.
5. Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was powered by the sun, twice as reliable, and five times as fast - but it would only run on 5 percent of the roads.
6. The oil, engine, gas, and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
7. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for years.
8. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas.
9. The U.S. government would be GETTING subsidies from an automaker, instead of giving them.
10. New seats would force everyone to have the same-size butt.
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Post by Chicago Jake on Sept 28, 2005 22:45:26 GMT -6
THAT one is worth some Karma!.....Jake
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Post by Robin Hood on Sept 28, 2005 22:51:14 GMT -6
another version:
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto
industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to
the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the
car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some
reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning
light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Sept 29, 2005 7:44:05 GMT -6
ON THE OTHER HAND (not my list, found elsewhere)
If Microsoft built computers the way that GM builds cars...
1. There would be measurable chance of being burned alive in a minor crash.
2. Each machine would be hand crafted and cost a years pay or more for the first 50 years of the technology.
3. It would emit a large cloud of blue smoke every time you started up.
4. It would consume gallons of liquid fuel, the pumping and refining of which would support half of the worlds injustice, terrorism, and dictatorships.
5. Really nice ones would be available only to the upper classes.
6. The racing of really fast ones would become a huge spectator sport involving huge crowds of shirtless rednecks swilling beer.
7. The information super highway would be filled with inexperienced, angry, sleepy, stupid, and drunken operators who all seem to want to kill you.
8. Your taxes would support a whole cadre of people who's job it is to make sure you don't progress too fast.
9. You're communication with fellow operators would be limited to flashing lights, squealing mice, and obscene hand gestures.
10. Washing and waxing it would provide some of the finest parent/child quality time of the week
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