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Post by Harrybutt on Jan 29, 2005 13:10:43 GMT -6
Stripper Wins Damages After Tiger AttackTORONTO (Reuters) - A stripper mauled by a tiger in an Ontario safari park has won C$800,000 ($650,000) in damages because her scars meant she could no longer work, Canadian media said on Friday. Jennifer-Anne Cowles was driving through the park nearly nine years ago with her then boyfriend when a tiger jumped into their car and tried to drag them away. The two insisted their windows had been shut when the tiger charged, although the park had challenged that. The judge accepted the couple's testimony that the power windows had been inadvertently lowered when one of the big cats bumped against the car, frightening them. In a ruling delivered on Thursday and reported in a number of Canadian newspapers, Justice Jean MacFarland said she could only imagine the "stark terror experienced by these young people during this horrendous event." She awarded Cowles over C$800,000 in damages, almost half of it to compensate for income she would have made as a stripper. Her musician boyfriend, David Balac, won C$1.7 million, because his injuries left him unable to work as an accordion player. African Lion Safari, near Hamilton, Ontario, west of Toronto, said it is reviewing the ruling, but it insisted the park was safe. "Hundreds of millions of people drive through safari style parks worldwide every decade and there are very few incidents causing injury," it said in a statement. "It is one of the safest activities you can do with your family."
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Post by Chicago Jake on Jan 29, 2005 15:54:35 GMT -6
To bad they didn't have a Las Vegas magician to toss out to distract the tiger......Jake
P.S. - when was the last time an accordian player made $1.7 million?
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Post by Merlot Joe on Jan 29, 2005 16:02:50 GMT -6
P.S. - when was the last time an accordian player made $1.7 million? Never. Joe.
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Post by Merlot Joe on Jan 29, 2005 16:27:48 GMT -6
They have the annual Accordion and Italian Festival in a town called Cotati here Jake, in July. If you would like some tickets I can get you some??? ;D Maybe you ask them if any of them make $ 1.7million on a gig. How in the hell did we get from strippers to accordion Festivals? ?? Joe.
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Post by Hazelita on Jan 29, 2005 16:35:02 GMT -6
Wait just a gosh darn second, here. You mean the accordion player was awarded the equivalent of US $1,372,628 because he'd be unable to work in his profession but the stripper only won $650,000 for being unable to work in hers? What's wrong with this picture? I don't know any accordion players personally but I don't think they make more money than a stripper. I'm gonna learn how to play that damn accordion and move to Canada! [/size][/color]
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Post by Chicago Jake on Jan 29, 2005 16:40:40 GMT -6
Well, if Lawrence Welk had been a stripper rather than an accordian player, I'm sure he would have retired much earlier and made that much less dough. At least, I HOPE he would have retired that much earlier!.....Jake
P.S. - you ain't moving to Canada, baby, or I'll come and get you back! Besides, you're not, uh, anatomically optimized for the job!
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Post by Hazelita on Jan 29, 2005 16:46:10 GMT -6
I didn't know you needed to be over 5-feet tall to play an accordion ... LOL! Oh, wait a minute! Was that a crack about my BUST? For that kind of moohlah I'd bind the girls up nice and tight!
Anyway, thanks for coming to get me back from Canada, honey. I wouldn't have gone for very long. I doubt I could play an accordion anyway. I might break a nail!
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Post by JustIan on Jan 31, 2005 8:59:24 GMT -6
I'm gonna learn how to play that damn accordion and move to Canada! [/size][/color][/quote] Isn't Canada a whole lot closer than NYC? ;D ;D
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Post by hedocanuxxx on Jan 31, 2005 10:23:16 GMT -6
OK, I'll take a guess on this one......... How many "old" strippers are there? Not exactly a profession where you will be looking at a lifetime of earnings. Now, how many old accordian players are there? Hmmmm, my guess is pretty well *all* of them except, apparently, Mr. Tiger-Mauled-Dude. If this guy is actually a successful *young* accordian player, he could conceivably be earning throughout his expected lifetime (78yrs?). I don't think it mentioned their ages but, being too lazy to scroll down for a millisecond and look, we can assume that she may have 5 or 10 yrs of stripping whereas he could have 50 years of rockin' on the squeezebox. So, would the present value of 50 yrs of accordian playing be over twice as great as perhaps 7 yrs of stripping? If he was great and she was so-so, then it damn well better be!! (subscribing to the theory that it almost doesn't matter what someone does, if you do it really really well, it is going to be worthwhile). Now, if she was a great stripper, then this theory gets thrown out the window.
How about a smoking accordian bar at Hedo? Sounds better than a non-smoking piano bar that nobody goes to. Oooom-Paa-Paa Oooom-Paa-Paa She's going to take it off Oooom-Paa-Paa Piece By Oooom-Paa-Paa Piece........
HedoCanuxxx
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Post by RumAndCoke on Feb 2, 2005 22:55:21 GMT -6
Well, I guess she must strip at clubs more classy than the ones that I know, because scars of that caliber certainly don't seem to have stopped the strippers that I see. As a matter of fact, neither did the fact that some look like they had delivered a baby in the last 24 hours. Or bullet holes or knife wounds.....
I really need to up the class of the establishment I hang out in.
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