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Post by Irish Stu on Apr 10, 2007 8:18:42 GMT -6
If you've ever been lost for words while overseas you'll know just how important it is to be able to communicate effectively with the locals. It's useful to know, for instance, whether the cop who is trying to bundle you into the back of his car is calling you a bastard or a cunt. So when I spotted this little gem of a book "Essential Foreign Swear Words" recently I just knew it was something that the good folk on TNMC would want me to share with you all!! Now not only will you be able to understand the cop, you will also be able to, should you so desire, respond in a suitably charming manner.
Just to keep things simple I have chosen to narrow down the list of languages to the mother tongues of the board's two acknowledged mortal enemies, the hated French and Germans... this is also in no small part because I can't be bothered to laboriously type in a whole bunch of translations in a dozen unfamiliar languages, though I will make an exception for the 'Word of the day.'
So here we go with today's insult :
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries."
French
Votre mère était un hamster, et votre père sentait des bales de sureau.
German
Deine Mutter war ein Hamster und dein Vater roch nach Holunderbeeren
And today's bonus word :
"Cunt"
Chinese (Mandarin) - Bi
Chinese (Cantonese) - Hai
Afrikaans - Poes
Serbian - Picka
Swedish - Mutta
Dutch - Flamoes
I'll try to update with new phrases and words regularly.
Simon (who accepts no responsibility for either the translation or the accuracy of his typing of it)
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Post by Chicago Jake on Apr 10, 2007 9:30:05 GMT -6
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Post by Christinko on Apr 10, 2007 9:38:05 GMT -6
"Va te faire foutre" is essential in France go fuck yourself |
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Post by Irish Stu on Apr 10, 2007 9:49:01 GMT -6
As is "Sit jou kop in die koei se kont en wag tot die bul jou kom holnaai" in Afrikaans. Put your head inside a cow's front bottom then wait for a bull to take you up the arse Simon |
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Apr 10, 2007 10:00:31 GMT -6
Tabernac! ... about as bad as you can get in Quebec
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Post by jo on Apr 10, 2007 16:10:02 GMT -6
Tabernac! ... about as bad as you can get in Quebec It's funny that most of the Quebec swear words (tabernac, colisse, chris) are church related. My dad could string them together like a poet! As for Simon's bonus word, the Quebec word for cunt is "plotte" Just glad to help! ;D Jo |
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Post by Irish Stu on Apr 11, 2007 7:37:15 GMT -6
Today's insult : "Can you drink the water here or does it tastes of piss, like your beer?" French L'eau est-elle potable, ou a-t-elle le goût de pisse, comme votre bière? GermanKann man das Wasser hier trinken oder schmeckt nach Pisse wie das Bier? And today's bonus word : "Arse"French - Cul
German - Arsch
Spanish - Culo
Dutch - Reet
Swedish - Dajmkryss
American - Ass  Random Rudeness from around the worldToday's example is taken from Chinese (Cantonese) and is 'Ah si' which translates as : "I need a shit"Simon |
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Apr 11, 2007 7:40:06 GMT -6
I see!
Edited to clarify
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Post by Irish Stu on Apr 12, 2007 3:24:56 GMT -6
Today's insult... this one is worth memorising as it could come in very handy :
"I think I might have stepped on something unpleasant. Yes it's your country."
French
Je penseque j'ai marché sur quelque chose de désagréable. Oui, c'est votre pays.
German
Ich glaube, ich bin in etwas unangenehmes getreten. Ach ja, dein Land.
Random Rudeness
Today's example is taken from Afrikaans and is 'jou poes' which translates as :
"You cunt"
Bonus Useful Phrase
From the Portuguese 'eu estou gozando' :
"I am having an orgasm"
Simon
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Post by Tex on Apr 12, 2007 8:06:27 GMT -6
Simon, when you master the phrases in the book, you will be able to piss off the entire United Nations.
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Apr 12, 2007 8:23:00 GMT -6
For which, you would have our undying gratitude.
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Post by Irish Stu on Apr 12, 2007 8:41:36 GMT -6
I'd start with France... I can still string just enough French together to piss them off without needing the book...
Simon
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Post by Irish Stu on Apr 13, 2007 5:53:01 GMT -6
Friday's insult :
"Your country is shit. Your food is shit. Your beer is shit. I could go on..."
French
Votre pays est merde. Votre nourriture est merde. Votre bière est merde. Je pourrais continuer...
German
Euer Land ist Scheisse. Euer Essen ist Scheisse. Euer Bier ist Scheisse. So Könnte ich weitermachen...
And today's bonus word :
"Tits"
French - Nichons
Swedish - Brön
Russian - Siski
German - Titten
Random Rudeness from around the world
Today's example is taken from Serbian and is 'Podudlaj mi ga' which translates as :
"Suck my dick"
Simon
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Apr 13, 2007 6:33:08 GMT -6
DAMN Simon, thats the best yet... I need these in Finnish however to make best use of them around my locality (especially this latest entries, I could use them daily).
Humorous aside on the Finnish influence around here. The local television station PRIDES itself as having "the longest running Finnish language program in America"... 45 years.. but DAMN talk about being the big fish in an awfully small ocean.
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Post by Irish Stu on Apr 13, 2007 7:42:48 GMT -6
DAMN Simon, thats the best yet... I need these in Finnish however to make best use of them around my locality (especially this latest entries, I could use them daily) My business partner's wife's family are Finnish... I could ask for a translation... Simon |
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Apr 13, 2007 7:46:22 GMT -6
EXCELLENT
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Apr 13, 2007 8:15:36 GMT -6
The local television station PRIDES itself as having "the longest running Finnish language program in America"... Proving once again that what's important is not how you start, but how you Finnish. |
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Post by Irish Stu on Apr 13, 2007 8:17:15 GMT -6
The local television station PRIDES itself as having "the longest running Finnish language program in America"... Proving once again that what's important is not how you start, but how you Finnish. Are you quite Finnished now? Simon |
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Apr 13, 2007 8:27:18 GMT -6
The local television station PRIDES itself as having "the longest running Finnish language program in America"... I am always concerned how I Flemished |
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Apr 13, 2007 8:29:06 GMT -6
Proving once again that what's important is not how you start, but how you Finnish. Are you quite Finnished now? Simon  Fini. (as ze Fwench say) |
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Post by Irish Stu on Apr 13, 2007 8:29:43 GMT -6
This is all double-Dutch to me.
Simon
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Apr 13, 2007 8:31:08 GMT -6
Proving once again that what's important is not how you start, but how you Finnish. I've always heard that antibiotics are a good cure for being Flemish. |
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Apr 13, 2007 8:32:41 GMT -6
Except for the latest resistant strains.
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Apr 13, 2007 8:54:20 GMT -6
Well, obviously, if you're very Flemish, you'll strain yourself.
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Post by Irish Stu on Apr 16, 2007 7:25:02 GMT -6
Today's insult to really hit it to the hated French and Germans :
"Your country is like a toilet. It doesn't need a president, it just needs someone to flush all the shit away."
French
Votre pays est comme une toilette. Il n'a pas besoin d'un prèsident, il a besoin de quelqu'un pour vider toute la merde.
German
Dein Land is wie ein Klo. Ihr braucht keinen Präsidenten, sondern nur einen, der die Scheisse wegspult.
And today's bonus insult is taken from Swedish and is 'sug min kuk' which regrettably is a bit of a mouthful and translates as :
"Suck my dick"
Simon
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Apr 16, 2007 7:41:46 GMT -6
IMPORTANT note here on the German. I took two years of this language in high school, much to the dismay of my grade point average... BE VERY CAREFUL the German 'scheisse' (pronounced SHI-se) or shit is VERY SIMILAR to the German 'schiesse' (pronounced SHE-se) or shoot.
In using the phrase above, it would be an unfortunate misuse of the phrase AND the opportunity to actually say... "it just needs someone to flush all the shoot"
I personally reversed that relationship several times in class, apparently 'shitting' my way through the German language instead of 'shooting' my way through. Which in hindsight was actually more appropriate.
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Post by Irish Stu on Apr 16, 2007 7:49:32 GMT -6
Thank you for that timely reminder Gordon lest we too should committ such an embarrassing feux pas...
Simon
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Apr 16, 2007 8:55:05 GMT -6
In using the phrase above, it would be an unfortunate misuse of the phrase AND the opportunity to actually say... "it just needs someone to flush all the shoot" Which is exactly how we came to win WWII -- some German Officer commanded his troops to "Shit the Americans". This was the turning point of the war. |
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