Post by Merlot Joe on Sept 8, 2011 10:37:22 GMT -6
PENSION SEX
Two men were talking. 'So, how's your sex life?'
'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex.'
'Pension sex?'
'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!'
____________________________________________________
LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
'I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
He lets out this ear splitting yell.'
'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural.
I don't see what the problem is..'
'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session,
'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?'
She glanced at him and replied, 'You're never home!'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SEX & ARGUMENTS
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yelled, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: ‘Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'.'
'Yeah,' she replies, 'when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, 'This will make you happy tonight..'
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men were talking. 'So, how's your sex life?'
'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex.'
'Pension sex?'
'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!'
____________________________________________________
LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
'I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
He lets out this ear splitting yell.'
'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural.
I don't see what the problem is..'
'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session,
'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?'
She glanced at him and replied, 'You're never home!'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SEX & ARGUMENTS
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yelled, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: ‘Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'.'
'Yeah,' she replies, 'when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, 'This will make you happy tonight..'
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
