Post by Ardbeg... innit on Dec 10, 2010 9:55:34 GMT -6
This can only be described as a stocking stuffer. Guys put it on your list and let it all hang out 24/7/365
Letting It All Hang out -- Asylum Road Tests Crotchless Underwear
Every man has skeletons in his closet. And for half a decade, I've had crotchless boxers in mine.
In 2005, the German company sacfree (lower-case "s" for some reason) sent me a trial pair of its innovative undergarment, which covers your banana while exposing your kiwis. A hilariously mistranslated press release accompanied the, uh, package:
"The world-wide first testicle-free men's underwear -- a fantastic, comfortable, free feeling and a new sexy look. ... And so it works: sacfree® protects and supports the penis in a bag-like pouch. Till here sacfree® feels like a classic slip. For the testicle sacfree® offers pure space. Through an opening the sac can hangs out completely free. ... With its open kind sacfree® makes for a fresh breeze. A comfortable and manly healthy characteristic... bove all, people who works vocationally much in sitting will appreciate the new sacfree® freedom."
I'm a writer, so I certainly "works vocationally much in sitting." But, despite my curiosity, I never got around to sampling this fashion wonder; I suppose my testicles preferred the warmth of security to the cold unpredictability of freedom.
Getting Dressed ... Kinda
The first thing you'll notice when you don sacfree is that your sac is free. That's the whole point, obviously, but it's weird. Your manhood is tucked away, but your boys drop through a hole at the bottom and just ... like ... flop around. You're simultaneously naked and clad. (If you walked around town in these, would it qualify as indecent exposure? That's probably a question for Socrates -- or the nearest law enforcement officer.)
After I stared in the mirror for a minute or two, utterly transfixed, I slipped on a pair of pants. With a button fly, not a zipper fly, for reasons that don't need explanation. It certainly is different: the friction between your balls and inseam is noticeable to the point of distraction. I wouldn't say it's erotic, but it's difficult to concentrate on anything else. (OK, OK, it's kind of erotic.)
Walking Around
So you take a stroll around the neighborhood, harboring your pervy little secret. When strangers pass on the street, you feel like a creep. (Especially if you "accidentally" bump into them.) Unfortunately my free pair of sacfrees was a bit tight and began to chafe after 30 minutes, so they're seemingly better for sedentary purposes.
<more>
Every man has skeletons in his closet. And for half a decade, I've had crotchless boxers in mine.
In 2005, the German company sacfree (lower-case "s" for some reason) sent me a trial pair of its innovative undergarment, which covers your banana while exposing your kiwis. A hilariously mistranslated press release accompanied the, uh, package:
"The world-wide first testicle-free men's underwear -- a fantastic, comfortable, free feeling and a new sexy look. ... And so it works: sacfree® protects and supports the penis in a bag-like pouch. Till here sacfree® feels like a classic slip. For the testicle sacfree® offers pure space. Through an opening the sac can hangs out completely free. ... With its open kind sacfree® makes for a fresh breeze. A comfortable and manly healthy characteristic... bove all, people who works vocationally much in sitting will appreciate the new sacfree® freedom."
I'm a writer, so I certainly "works vocationally much in sitting." But, despite my curiosity, I never got around to sampling this fashion wonder; I suppose my testicles preferred the warmth of security to the cold unpredictability of freedom.
Getting Dressed ... Kinda
The first thing you'll notice when you don sacfree is that your sac is free. That's the whole point, obviously, but it's weird. Your manhood is tucked away, but your boys drop through a hole at the bottom and just ... like ... flop around. You're simultaneously naked and clad. (If you walked around town in these, would it qualify as indecent exposure? That's probably a question for Socrates -- or the nearest law enforcement officer.)
After I stared in the mirror for a minute or two, utterly transfixed, I slipped on a pair of pants. With a button fly, not a zipper fly, for reasons that don't need explanation. It certainly is different: the friction between your balls and inseam is noticeable to the point of distraction. I wouldn't say it's erotic, but it's difficult to concentrate on anything else. (OK, OK, it's kind of erotic.)
Walking Around
So you take a stroll around the neighborhood, harboring your pervy little secret. When strangers pass on the street, you feel like a creep. (Especially if you "accidentally" bump into them.) Unfortunately my free pair of sacfrees was a bit tight and began to chafe after 30 minutes, so they're seemingly better for sedentary purposes.
<more>
