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Post by edie2u on May 25, 2009 16:52:24 GMT -6
Wal-Mart has everything
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . A lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."
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Post by Irish Stu on May 25, 2009 17:01:13 GMT -6
;D
Simon
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Post by Chicago Jake on May 27, 2009 13:04:08 GMT -6
Okay, I don't get it.
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Post by Kawaii Kaiju on May 27, 2009 13:19:06 GMT -6
I think it is only half the joke. I believe the rest of the joke goes on with Joe taking in his wife's urine, and then his dog's urine....
Found it:
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,
'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.'
'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.
'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . A lot cheaper than a doctor.'
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @
Wal-Mart.'
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from
his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits
ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
Zilla (the internet is my friend)
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Post by Chicago Jake on May 27, 2009 17:26:30 GMT -6
Okay, I'm familiar with that long form of the joke. The OP just didn't strike me as having any humor elements in it!!
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Post by Kawaii Kaiju on May 27, 2009 17:44:12 GMT -6
Okay, I'm familiar with that long form of the joke. The OP just didn't strike me as having any humor elements in it!! Perhaps that there were no humor elements was actually the joke  Or maybe Edie was conducting her own online experiment to see if anyone would complain. Orrrrrrr maybe she was so sure we were all so familiar with the joke that she could just post the setup and we would all know the joke she was talking about and fill in the rest for ourselves, you know, kinda like mentioning meat balls. Zilla (looking for fun in all the wrong places, looking for fun in too many spaces. Searching websites, looking for traces of what I'm dreaming of) |
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Post by Irish Stu on May 27, 2009 18:04:36 GMT -6
I liked it how Edie posted it in its unfinished form.
Simon
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on May 30, 2009 18:36:41 GMT -6
Perhaps its just need the fat woman in the electric shopping cart element
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on May 30, 2009 18:39:39 GMT -6
Okay, I'm familiar with that long form of the joke. The OP just didn't strike me as having any humor elements in it!! Perhaps that there were no humor elements was actually the joke Or maybe Edie was conducting her own online experiment to see if anyone would complain. Orrrrrrr maybe she was so sure we were all so familiar with the joke that she could just post the setup and we would all know the joke she was talking about and fill in the rest for ourselves, you know, kinda like mentioning meat balls. ha99isZilla (looking for fun in all the wrong places, looking for fun in too many spaces. Searching websites, looking for traces of what I'm dreaming of) Typo corrected |
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Post by edie2u on May 31, 2009 20:38:58 GMT -6
Thanks, Zilla, I done fucked that one up. I was sitting in the airport in Albuquerque getting ready to post this when the said my flight was being delayed...I guess I got a little distracted! LOL
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Or maybe Edie was conducting her own online experiment to see if anyone would complain. Orrrrrrr maybe she was so sure we were all so familiar with the joke that she could just post the setup and we would all know the joke she was talking about and fill in the rest for ourselves, you know, kinda like mentioning meat balls.