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Post by Cherbunny on Sept 1, 2006 16:53:32 GMT -6
Congrats on having your own sub-board, Beeb. I know that you're the man who can answer any and all questions this geeky gal might have.
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Dear Beeb,
I'm getting married soon and I want to be the best wife ever. I want to make sure that my man has no skid marks in his tightie whities. Besides using a good 2-ply toilet paper and feeding him a healthy diet, is there a product available that removes shit stains from men's underwear?
I am too embarrassed to write to Dear Abby, Hints from Heloise, or Savage Love to get the info.
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. ;D
A Faithful Fan
================================
FYI~ This is definitely NOT my Rick
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Sept 1, 2006 23:05:52 GMT -6
Dear Faithful,
First of all, your approach toward skid marks is way off. If you are providing him with a healthy diet in the first place, then you must consider skid marks are your reward for a job well done. If you are a military type, then consider each skid mark as an added stripe that you may wear proudly. It's a promotion, girl! You have moved up the ranks and distinguished yourself with honor.
Removing the stains is not the problem -- instead, think of how you can make him singe his undies so that he burns a hole completely through them. For that, however, you will need to take him to a good Mexican restaurant. And order extra refried beans.
Best of luck to both you and Mark The Skidder.
-- Chef Bukkake Boy-R-Dee
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Post by Tex on Sept 2, 2006 7:23:25 GMT -6
The LaGuardia main runway look is in this year.
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Sept 2, 2006 12:15:18 GMT -6
I've got news for you, pal -- in *my* house, it was never OUT.
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Post by Chuck on Sept 3, 2006 6:19:34 GMT -6
My dear friend, (I daresay the term loosely.)I find this totally humiliating as *I* certainly have more knowledge, am better connected, and certainly have more experience in giving consultation ad nauseam I am told. I can not imagine YOU of all people could remotely come close to responding as swiftly, and as accurately as I, given the known fact *I* have been to Hedo more times than most, and your preoccupation with excrement clouds your thinking which is akin to diving with those pesky champagne bubbles in my oxygen hose. But, I digress. I am also much older than I appear (and so is my darling wife, the tennis pro...did you know she is AWOL?), therefore, if anyone was qualified to give sage advice, I do believe that would me as I, by default, simply, (and justifiably so) know it all.
With that in mind, I shall graciously offer my services to you, since it will be an impossibility for you to handle such a daunting task. I will PM my direct number to you, which only seven people in the world have, as I have already determined you will need my assistance, because well, as you well know, I just simply know these things. I understand you are grateful - no thanks necessary, just buy me a drink the next time we are at Delroys. Be well.
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Sept 4, 2006 4:45:12 GMT -6
Hey Beeb
How about a public service article on ala Consumers Reports on Toilet Plungers, the good ones, the bad ones, and the exotic alternatives. Its about time for me to replace my 20 year old plunger, and before I invest in an '07 model upgrade, I need a source of information that helps me sort through all that options available to me... i.e. are the sleek Europlungers REALLY worth the extra $$$, am I missing the technological cutting edge if I avoid the compressed air route. Help Beeb, we need this information.
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Sept 4, 2006 20:33:48 GMT -6
... I shall graciously offer my services to you ... Good Lord, this may be the worst case of The Bends I've ever witnessed! |
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Sept 4, 2006 20:38:32 GMT -6
... i.e. are the sleek Europlungers REALLY worth the extra $$$ ... Just don't get The French model -- when the going gets tough, they fail to work properly and if you call their manufacturer for customer service, they will just blame the American Standard plumbing for all of the problems you are experiencing. |
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Post by viperess on Sept 4, 2006 21:14:55 GMT -6
My dear friend, (I daresay the term loosely.)I find this totally humiliating as *I* certainly have more knowledge, am better connected, and certainly have more experience in giving consultation ad nauseam I am told. I can not imagine YOU of all people could remotely come close to responding as swiftly, and as accurately as I, given the known fact *I* have been to Hedo more times than most, and your preoccupation with excrement clouds your thinking which is akin to diving with those pesky champagne bubbles in my oxygen hose. But, I digress. I am also much older than I appear (and so is my darling wife, the tennis pro...did you know she is AWOL?), therefore, if anyone was qualified to give sage advice, I do believe that would me as I, by default, simply, (and justifiably so) know it all. With that in mind, I shall graciously offer my services to you, since it will be an impossibility for you to handle such a daunting task. I will PM my direct number to you, which only seven people in the world have, as I have already determined you will need my assistance, because well, as you well know, I just simply know these things. I understand you are grateful - no thanks necessary, just buy me a drink the next time we are at Delroys. Be well. Got'dammit Iggy! Get your own sub-board!!!! |
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Post by mugsey on Sept 15, 2006 17:06:54 GMT -6
ROFLMAO!!!!  |
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Sept 15, 2006 22:13:23 GMT -6
I wonder how Cheese Day is going.
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Post by Just Mike on Sept 15, 2006 23:34:25 GMT -6
damn beeb....figured you'd have some comments on the "stopping/plugging" power of cheese to the human body
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Sept 16, 2006 8:20:36 GMT -6
I can't believe I'm stuck here in NYC while everyone else is out enjoying Cheese Day. Life is so cruel sometimes.
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Post by Christinko on Sept 16, 2006 8:27:47 GMT -6
Every day for you, big boy, is cheesie day. Who are you kidding?
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Sept 16, 2006 8:29:15 GMT -6
I can't help but wonder what types of cheeses I'm missing. I bet you like the stinky ones.
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Post by Christinko on Sept 16, 2006 8:58:30 GMT -6
I know exactly what kinds of cheeses you are missing and I'm manufacturing them here in Chicago right now.
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Sept 16, 2006 9:01:24 GMT -6
If you're handing out free samples, please be sure to save one for me.
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Post by viperess on Sept 18, 2006 9:17:56 GMT -6
Okay....That's just GROSS!!!  |
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Post by Christinko on Sept 18, 2006 10:02:47 GMT -6
But we're taking with BB here...just keeping in context. (snicker)
PS: BB, I promise to warm my samples for you.
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Post by Chicago Jake on Sept 18, 2006 15:08:44 GMT -6
It's Cheese DAYS, not Day. It was a three-day event. I'll get a trip report, complete with photos, posted after I complete my most urgent post-Wisconsin project: unblocking my colon.......Jake
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Sept 18, 2006 21:56:59 GMT -6
Cheese Daze. Got it.
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