Father dies

[Dan]

Gordon,

To paraphrase Tex, our fathers went out the way they wanted to. Nothing we could have done would have changed that. Drunk, sober - rich, poor - doesnt matter, They went out content. I talk to my Dad every day - telling him what I've done around the place, how I miss having someone to talk to at 9pm every night, things like that.

My Dad was "lucky". He wanted to die at home. And he did - 2 days after coming home from a nursing home after a series of strokes. I was fortunate in that he wanted me to be close by when he passed - and I was. That said - I never want to do it again.

He's in a better place G. At the risk of sounding religious - let go - let God.

Dan

[Ardbeg... innit]

Thanks again for the support everyone. Im not beating myself up on this, just trying to figure out why, if he was in so much mental anguish to get drunk every day, and to such a degree, he never wanted to open up and talk to his family. We ALL tried and we all were stonewalled, never try arguing with a drunk (he one time slurred through a speech demanding to know how I knew he was drinking).

The only thing that I can figure anymore is that he seemed happier to be miserable on a daily basis, and like any addiction he finally reached the point he needed something with a stronger kick to it. He obviously was lonely and he obviously missed my mother. Offing himself on the 35th anniversary of her death was rather poetic, and I guess we should have seen that one coming.

At least he didnt make a big mess of it like his brother did, and did the job completely.

[DT]

Mar 28, 2009 9:08:13 GMT -6 Ardbeg... innit said:

Well, the coroners report finally came back this week. Seems my fathers blood alcohol level when he died was 0.22%, more than triple the legal limit for driving.
I havnt figured out yet whether this is good or bad. Obviously his judgment was grossly impaired when he fired up the car engine in the garage last month. One more issue to deal with.

Gordon, It's good in the fact that it shows (and carries a message to me) that ALCOHOL kills.

I am afraid of having a latent gambling issue just waiting to surface, and based on the "family tradition", thats scary.

Keep in mind this is nothing but an UNFOUNDED fear. If you never make a bet you will never have a gambling problem.

"Please don't beat yourself up to much and give yourself a chance to heal and reflect

Concentrate on the good memories."

"I can't point to years of reading your posts, but I agree with Gary. Well said. Lots of things lurk beneath the surface, and we can even let them out on occasion, but they seldom catch us unaware - and especially not the ones we kind of expect."

"Gordon, go back to your law of probabilities and stay out of the casino."

"Gordon, I'm so pleased that you've done all this reflection! Most healthy of you! Bravo!
Reminds us all to analyze our thoughts and actions every once in a while to figure out our motives and underlying driving forces. Thank you!"

"remember, many things in life are beyond our control. This is one of them."

"Gordon time heals all wounds. Don't beat yourself up on this. Take care."

"God bless, you Gordon, you are carrying a heavy burden. Gordon, they say that knowledge is power. You are very intelligent...you have spent countless hours delving into your own psyche, so I would say that you hold the power. I hope you can find peace..."

"We all have to check out sooner or later in our own way. As Ernest Hemingway said, the cost of a life is death (or that's close enough)"

"Keep in mind this is nothing but an UNFOUNDED fear. If you never make a bet you will never have a gambling problem."

"He's in a better place G. At the risk of sounding religious - let go - let God."

Great suggestions from folks who care about your well-being Gordon.

[carl]

Yep!