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Post by Chicago Jake on May 17, 2006 21:33:08 GMT -6
It appears that Sir Paul McCartney and his Main Squeeze Heather Mills McCartney are going SPLITS-VILLE. Awwwww.
While I'm sure we are all broken up about this unfortunate turn of events, that's no reason why we can't think up some appropriate Beatles lyrics that apply to the event. Here are a few of mine. I'm sure YOU can come up with even more!......Jake
She's leaving home, bye bye.
She's got a ticket to ride.
They can't work it out.
Heather's in black, and he's feeling blue.
And in her eyes you see nothing No sign of love behind the tears, Cried for no one A love that should have lasted years
why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say.
.....Your turn......Jake
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Post by pixiedust on May 17, 2006 21:46:35 GMT -6
There was NO PRE NUP and she's a new billionaire yeah yeah yeah....
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Post by Cherbunny on May 17, 2006 23:06:09 GMT -6
She Hates You, yeah yeah yeah
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Post by Merlot Joe on May 17, 2006 23:35:15 GMT -6
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Post by Cherbunny on May 18, 2006 8:08:39 GMT -6
Obviously she won't need him when he's 64......
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Post by Hedo69 on May 18, 2006 10:35:53 GMT -6
Isn't he older than 64 by now?
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Post by Cherbunny on May 18, 2006 11:44:37 GMT -6
Nope, he's presently 63.
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Post by drmryder on May 19, 2006 14:13:59 GMT -6
Of course it's difficult to maintain a normal relationship, he's a frickin Beatle for Godsakes!!!
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Post by PattyD on May 20, 2006 6:08:54 GMT -6
not only is he one of the Beatles... he is a generation older than she is!!! Now don't get me wrong I am not saying that May - December marriages don't work out for some but after about a 15 year gap in age there just is too much difference IMO and in this case she was not even born when he first became famous never mind the fact that she is at the peak of her life & he has "been there, got the tee shirt" point in his life. I love hanging out with my Dad (21 year difference) but what I look forward to doing in my free time & what he likes to do are so far apart! And my Dad is a very young 70!
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Post by Irish Stu on May 21, 2006 10:36:11 GMT -6
A South African gold miner loses his leg in an accident. The next day, lying in his hospital bed choking back the tears, he suddenly cries out "It's over!! It's over!! Who's gonna want a one legged gold digger?"
Then his phone rings "Hi!! It's Paul McCartney."
Simon
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Post by innit Geezer on May 21, 2006 10:47:27 GMT -6
When Geri and I were first married I rented a porn movie from the local video store.
The movie was typical until the actors started the sex scene. They undressed together but the woman went one step further and UN-screwed one of her legs. She rested it against the coffee table and they proceed to have sex.
It was different. I'm glad it wasn't one of those extra kinky movies where they suck toes.
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Post by Hazelita on May 21, 2006 15:10:05 GMT -6
I'm glad it wasn't one of those extra kinky movies were they suck toes. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!! There will be NO discussion on sucking toes. EVER! ~~~shuddering~~~EEEEEEEEWW!
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Post by Irish Stu on May 21, 2006 15:42:24 GMT -6
"So tell me again Heather, you're going to stick this exactly how far up Sir Paul's ass?" Simon
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Post by innit Geezer on May 21, 2006 20:54:47 GMT -6
I bet Larry has a hard-on just by holding that leg. It even has a sexy platform sandal on.
I think Geri has the same one.
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Post by innit Geezer on May 21, 2006 21:28:33 GMT -6
I'm glad it wasn't one of those extra kinky movies were they suck toes. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!! There will be NO discussion on sucking toes. EVER! ~~~shuddering~~~EEEEEEEEWW! This why I prefer the "inverted pile driver", even though you have to be as flexible as an east European circus performer and it is lonely facing the other way, a toe is a toe.
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Post by Chicago Jake on May 21, 2006 22:32:21 GMT -6
What do you say to a one-legged hitch-hiker? "Sure! Hop in!!" ..............Jake
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Post by Hazelita on May 22, 2006 4:42:17 GMT -6
I'm curious. Does anybody even know how Heather Mills came to have only one leg?
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Post by Irish Stu on May 22, 2006 6:08:20 GMT -6
She was crossing the street in London and was hit by a police motorcycle on an emergency call.
Simon
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Post by Hazelita on May 22, 2006 6:34:52 GMT -6
Yikes!!! I bet she sued their arses off and was probably rich before she married McCartney.
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Post by Irish Stu on Jun 1, 2006 8:29:25 GMT -6
Sam and I watched Sir Paul make his first TV appearance since his split with Heather on a BBC current affairs show here in the UK last night. He looked very sad and made no other comment other than reading a short prepared statement : "Separating from Heather has been very upsetting. She is an incredible person who has triumphed over terrible adversity. I will always cherish the time we had together and no woman will ever fill her shoe."
Simon
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Post by Chicago Jake on Jun 1, 2006 9:33:43 GMT -6
Oh, you are bad!......Jake
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Jun 1, 2006 11:29:28 GMT -6
She can sue him for divorce, but she doesn't have a leg to stand on.
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Post by Irish Stu on Jun 1, 2006 12:44:32 GMT -6
Apparently Heather has been trying to get back into modelling just in case the divorce settlement doesn't work out too well for her, so she went along to a casting for a Levi jeans campaign at an ad agency the other day. The client was, understandably, a little surprised to find a one legged model at a casting for legwear. Embarrassed, and at a loss as to how to let her down gently, he eventually stammered "Your right leg's great... I've got nothing against your right leg... the problem is neither have you"
Simon
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Post by Chicago Jake on Jun 1, 2006 12:48:02 GMT -6
She can sue him for divorce, but she doesn't have a leg to stand on. BB, I was going to say that comment is beneath you. But then I came to my senses......Jake
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Post by innit Geezer on Jun 2, 2006 20:41:49 GMT -6
Are you guys pulling my leg? Did she really get hit by a police car? Sex is probably a lot easier for various reasons, namely you don't get accidentally kneed in the face "trying to position" in the dark.
Plus she can't get away when you're horny. (I couldn't help that last one)
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Jun 2, 2006 21:59:12 GMT -6
Plus she can't get away when you're horny. Well, I guess that would give you a leg up on the rest of us, then.
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Post by innit Geezer on Jun 3, 2006 4:53:26 GMT -6
According to that picture with Larry King, pedicures look a lot simpler.
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Post by Tex on Jun 3, 2006 6:16:52 GMT -6
According to that picture with Larry King, pedicures look a lot simpler. Half price.
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Jun 3, 2006 7:31:46 GMT -6
According to that picture with Larry King, pedicures look a lot simpler. Not to mention the money she saves on Nair.
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Post by innit Geezer on Jun 3, 2006 8:03:05 GMT -6
But with a small increase in furniture polish costs.
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