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Post by Irish Stu on Mar 8, 2012 13:50:01 GMT -6
As posted on my Facebook earlier. A conversation between my lodger and myself :
Me - "I have a couple of potential buyers coming to view the house tomorrow. Would you mind being downstairs when they are here? It's just that if they know you are my lodger they might think I rent the room out because I am short of money and think they can get the place cheap."
Her - "Are you going to say I am your wife?"
Me - "No need really. If they think that then that is up to them."
Her - "How about you introduce me as your daughter?"
Me - "Your plan falls down for two reasons. One... you are AMERICAN and I might have a job explaining how I have an AMERICAN daughter. Two... I don't look old enough to be your dad."
Her - "Well I'm often told I look young for my age..."
Me - "YEAH WELL SO AM I!!"
She's one of your lot. Can you please come and take her back?
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Mar 8, 2012 13:56:44 GMT -6
Sorry, if youve had her more than 90 days the return policy says that you need an RMA and you need to pay for the shipping.
Edited: I hope, at least, you kept the receipt and the original packaging.
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Mar 8, 2012 13:58:20 GMT -6
You broke it, you bought it.
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Post by Irish Stu on Mar 8, 2012 14:00:28 GMT -6
Please...
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Mar 8, 2012 14:15:04 GMT -6
Cant you take her to immigration and pass her off as Pakistani? or at least eastern European
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Post by Irish Stu on Mar 8, 2012 14:16:45 GMT -6
She has a date over tonight, a strapping young English lad. Being Mormons there is no alcohol and there will be no shagging later. They are watching Final Fantasy on DVD whilst eating a cheap supermarket pizza with a rhubarb pie to look forward to afterwards and a bottle of R White's lemonade to wash it all down!
I'm going to the pub before the excitement gets too much for me!
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Mar 8, 2012 14:43:07 GMT -6
You should just walk in on them naked and ask, "Has anyone seen my car keys?"
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Mar 8, 2012 15:22:02 GMT -6
She has a date over tonight, a strapping young English lad. Being Mormons there is no alcohol and there will be no shagging later. They are watching Final Fantasy on DVD whilst eating a cheap supermarket pizza with a rhubarb pie to look forward to afterwards and a bottle of R White's lemonade to wash it all down!
I'm going to the pub before the excitement gets too much for me! A quite night at the hot tub |
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Post by Merlot Joe on Mar 8, 2012 19:53:54 GMT -6
Cant you take her to immigration and pass her off as Pakistani? or at least eastern European Tell them she's Canadian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Post by Merlot Joe on Mar 8, 2012 19:55:54 GMT -6
She's one of your lot. Can you please come and take her back? Sorry Simon. Like I told my Son-In-Law after he married my daughter. There are no refunds, returns, or exchanges. |
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Post by innit Geezer on Mar 8, 2012 21:50:02 GMT -6
F*ck the potential buyers. Let them think whatever they want. I know many well-to people that rent out their own residential space. The mentality is all about business and money, of course it's not the mainstream thinking. Good luck Si.
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Post by innit Geezer on Mar 8, 2012 22:10:04 GMT -6
or maybe she'll go along with wearing a French maids outfit. Even if she doesn't speak French anyone can get away with "oui oui monsieur ".
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Mar 9, 2012 7:59:43 GMT -6
Simon, maybe you should take a slant from the movie Soylent Green... refer to her as "furniture"... that should set everyone straight.
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Post by innit Geezer on Mar 9, 2012 8:05:05 GMT -6
Give her a pencil, pad and tape measure and have walk around like she's buying the place.
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Post by Irish Stu on Mar 9, 2012 11:54:50 GMT -6
Cant you take her to immigration and pass her off as Pakistani? or at least eastern European Tell them she's Canadian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Canada is part of the British Commonwealth so Canadians are much harder to get rid of  |
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Mar 9, 2012 11:59:59 GMT -6
Gee, I don't know about that -- we've managed to get rid of all of the Canadians who used to hang out *here* ...
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Post by Irish Stu on Mar 9, 2012 12:31:09 GMT -6
Yes oddly this here fine message board can achieve things with less than a dozen active members than the entire British nation can.
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Mar 9, 2012 12:37:57 GMT -6
... with a legacy of doing the same on *other* boards... repeatedly.
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Mar 9, 2012 12:54:00 GMT -6
Well, if you *really* want her to move out, do what my last landlord did -- turn off the heat during the winter. (Although admittedly, it might be a bit late at this point to try, but still ... )
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Mar 9, 2012 13:10:28 GMT -6
Get some cigars and smoke her out
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Mar 9, 2012 14:01:24 GMT -6
Eat some beans and smoke her out.
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Post by Alice on Mar 11, 2012 18:47:56 GMT -6
She's one of your lot. Can you please come and take her back? Sorry Simon. Like I told my Son-In-Law after he married my daughter. There are no refunds, returns, or exchanges. Damn Joe. My dad gave Gary a 5 year warranty for any medical or dental problems. He paid all my dental expenses. |
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Post by ♥ COVID-19♥ on Mar 11, 2012 19:01:43 GMT -6
Wow! Capt. Gary must pack quite a punch!
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Post by Chicago Jake on Mar 11, 2012 23:52:17 GMT -6
There are English Mormons? I thought that was a uniquely American affliction.
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Post by Merlot Joe on Mar 12, 2012 1:09:27 GMT -6
Sorry Simon. Like I told my Son-In-Law after he married my daughter. There are no refunds, returns, or exchanges. Damn Joe. My dad gave Gary a 5 year warranty for any medical or dental problems. He paid all my dental expenses. After paying for them for 22 years I thought it was some one elses turn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Besides I did put a set of tires on her car last year when they were a little short of cash. |
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Post by Irish Stu on Mar 12, 2012 7:13:09 GMT -6
There are English Mormons? I thought that was a uniquely American affliction I had thought so too Jake until I found I had rented a room to one. It seems there are quite a few of them over here and in fact there's a church on the edge of town that I had always thought looks architecturally more American than British that I have now learned is the local Mormon church. |
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Post by Ardbeg... innit on Mar 12, 2012 7:18:03 GMT -6
There are English Mormons? I thought that was a uniquely American affliction. Dont forget that most Mormons dedicate a year of their lives to God, usually they go 'somewhere' for mission work to convert the 'Gentiles', as they refer to everyone else who isnt Mormon. Sounds like the infection has spread to England. |
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