STD from AT&T?

[♥ COVID-19♥]

Soon Your Cell Phone Will Tell You if You Have Herpes

Hot on the heels of (but completely unrelated to) Sesame Street's "There's an App for That" there really is an app for that...that being that unpleasant burning sensation. Doctors and technology experts in the UK are developing tiny computer chips that you'll be able to plug into your computer or phone after moistening them with urine or saliva -- and find out if you've got herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, or whatnot.

Apparently the devices are aimed at "technology-savvy" young people, who would be able to buy them for less than a buck in nightclubs, drugstores, and supermarkets. Doctors hope that they will reduce STDs among people who "are too embarrassed" to go to a doctor -- but not too embarrassed that their phone smells like pee.

Seriously, though -- good times, these. What it will save on co-pays!

[Chicago Jake]

So pretty soon, asking a potential lover to spit on your cell phone will be a regular part of foreplay. It's a brave new world.

[♥ COVID-19♥]

Women have been spitting at me *and* my cell phone for years now. I'm always so ahead of the technology curve.

[Ardbeg... innit]

Another reason not to retrieve your dropped cell phone from the airport urinal.

[Merlot Joe]

Hi, my name Joe do you want to spit on my phone before I try to bag your ass. For some reason that don't sound like a good pick up line to me.

[♥ COVID-19♥]

It's better than any of the ones *I* use.

[Merlot Joe]

I don't know if that's good or bad?