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Bedtime
May 27, 2009 4:53:08 GMT -6
Post by Irish Stu on May 27, 2009 4:53:08 GMT -6
A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.
The wife got up and stripped in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier".
The husband said "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.
Simon
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Bedtime
May 27, 2009 5:06:30 GMT -6
Post by Ardbeg... innit on May 27, 2009 5:06:30 GMT -6
as he presses the forward button on his Kindle
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Bedtime
May 27, 2009 12:22:48 GMT -6
Post by Irish Stu on May 27, 2009 12:22:48 GMT -6
The alternative ending goes like this :
The husband said "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages. And anyway, if we have sex now then your birthday won't be special."
Simon
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Bedtime
May 27, 2009 12:56:17 GMT -6
Post by Irish Stu on May 27, 2009 12:56:17 GMT -6
Which kind of makes me wonder... if a man says something in the woods and his wife isn't there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Simon
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Bedtime
May 27, 2009 13:05:06 GMT -6
Post by Chicago Jake on May 27, 2009 13:05:06 GMT -6
If a bear shits in the woods, but there's nobody there to smell it, does it still stink?
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Bedtime
May 27, 2009 13:11:35 GMT -6
Post by Irish Stu on May 27, 2009 13:11:35 GMT -6
The bear would be able to smell it.
Simon
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Bedtime
May 27, 2009 13:18:30 GMT -6
Post by Irish Stu on May 27, 2009 13:18:30 GMT -6
Or doesn't the bear count?
Simon
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Bedtime
May 27, 2009 13:19:10 GMT -6
Post by Irish Stu on May 27, 2009 13:19:10 GMT -6
Or maybe it has a bad head cold and can't smell anything at all.
Simon
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Bedtime
May 27, 2009 13:21:49 GMT -6
Post by Irish Stu on May 27, 2009 13:21:49 GMT -6
It may even have a birth defect that prevents it from smelling anything at all.
Simon
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Bedtime
May 28, 2009 1:40:15 GMT -6
Post by Irish Stu on May 28, 2009 1:40:15 GMT -6
In my favourite scene in 'Married with Children' Al and Peggy were in bed reading when suddenly Al exclaims "Would you quit pawing at me!!"
Peggy replies "But I'm horny..."
To which Al says "Yeah well so am I but you don't see me bothering you with it!!"
Simon
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Bedtime
May 28, 2009 3:27:26 GMT -6
Post by Irish Stu on May 28, 2009 3:27:26 GMT -6
Damn I miss that show!!
Simon
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Bedtime
May 28, 2009 10:45:06 GMT -6
Post by Chicago Jake on May 28, 2009 10:45:06 GMT -6
That was a great show. My favorite line was when Peg asks Al, "What are you thinking?"
Al says, "Well, if I wanted *you* to know, I'd be *talking*."
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